After class last week (yes, the newlyweds were disgusting, and yes, I was jealous — this man is head over heels for this woman. Adored. Big sigh.) I went home and did my homework. It was the budget and cash flow allocation. It takes every dollar from your month and allocates it. Seriously, like every dollar. I actually felt really good after I did it, and realized….no wonder I’m so in debt!! I have absolutely no margin of error in my budget. If I misspend one single, stinking dollar….I will have to pull out a credit card. And so it has gone the past three years. It all looks good on paper. I am excited to see how the month pans out. If I didn’t forget anything, I should be able to put at least $400 toward my first baby step of $1000 in the emergency fund.
But here I am sitting on the floor, longing for an Ikea desk and waiting for my great value coffee to finish brewing so I can head to week 4. I realize that these problems are so not problems and that I live in luxury….yes, even on the floor it is luxury….but Dave is right, money is emotional. And right now I’m really peeved because I want to stop at Starbucks on the way to class to reward myself for going….and I can’t. If I spend $5 today, that is five dollars less I will have to spend on some fun crafty project with my friend Lisa when she is here. I feel like a petulant child. Pissed.
However, just like working out when I don’t feel like it. This too will be good for me, and hopefully my thinking and attitudes toward money will change. Let’s hope so because I am so money’s bitch right now.